A Break-Up

This following chat was used by permission. The first block text from my cadet "Lee" is a text from his girlfriend. Both of these are real-life 'adopted' siblings and fellow cadets.



(6:24:26 PM) Sian Jones: Lee? *gently*

(6:28:36 PM) Lee: "Lee I have been thinking an awful lot about my life and I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship long term I am so sorry I will always love you but I am not ready I have a lot of things going on in my life and I can’t juggle school, family life, course work and a relationship all at the same time. I don’t want it to end but I’m not ready for anything yet. can we be good friends please I don’t want to do this but I am thinking of my future I am so sorry it’s not you it’s me I promise I’m not just saying it but I need some time to think xxx I know I am probably hurting you right now and I’m sorry for all the pain I’m causing you and its hurting me to balance everything right now xxx I’m sorry xxxx don’t be sad don’t hurt yourself over it I’m sure in the future we can be together again but not right now I need to sort out my life I am so sorry xxxx I really am xxxx I hope you understand x ily

(6:29:48 PM) Sian Jones: Lee...
(6:29:53 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs tight, thinking*
(6:30:04 PM) Sian Jones: She's doing something that's best, for both of you...
(6:30:07 PM) Sian Jones: Are you listening to me?
(6:30:10 PM) Sian Jones: I need you to.

(6:30:14 PM) Lee: yeah

(6:30:37 PM) Sian Jones: What happens now....proves whether your love for each other is going to last in the future.
(6:31:03 PM) Sian Jones: Your choosing to love her now....will cost you something in pain, in time, in tears, but it will help you grow up inside.
(6:31:15 PM) Sian Jones: Maturity always comes at the cost of pain.
(6:31:27 PM) Sian Jones: I know you can't see past that you've loved and lost right now...
(6:32:00 PM) Sian Jones: But if you carry on loving her, and you don't let it hurt you...you will be becoming the man you're meant to be, Lee.
(6:32:11 PM) Sian Jones: It's going to hurt, but I mean, don't let it scar.
(6:32:15 PM) Sian Jones: Don't become bitter over it.
(6:32:48 PM) Sian Jones: If you carry on in spite of the pain, and if you wait and hope...then your love will be something worth having, Lee.
(6:32:53 PM) Sian Jones: Because you KNOW it will last.
(6:33:20 PM) Sian Jones: You'll want to give in. You'll want to forget it. You'll want to turn to the next pretty girl who bats her eyelashes and makes you feel wanted.
(6:33:51 PM) Sian Jones: Real love isn't worth that, Lee...it ignores the pretty girl who makes you feel loved for the sake of the one you know is worth your pain.
(6:33:58 PM) Sian Jones: Does that make sense, Lee?
(6:34:02 PM) Sian Jones: I mean it.

(6:34:30 PM) Lee: yeah

(6:35:00 PM) Sian Jones: Are you listening, Lee?? Really, truly listening? Or are you just agreeing with me.

(6:35:11 PM) Lee: yeah I’m listening

(6:35:35 PM) Sian Jones: Good. Are you going to try, or are you going to give it up for the next girlfriend to make you feel better?

(6:36:54 PM) Lee: I wouldn’t go for just any girl Siân

(6:37:11 PM) Sian Jones: I know you wouldn't.
(6:37:26 PM) Sian Jones: But do you think Beth’s worth waiting for - _for the rest of your life_?

(6:37:40 PM) Lee: yes I do

(6:38:32 PM) Sian Jones: Good. *hugs tight*

(6:38:38 PM) Lee: :'(

(6:38:44 PM) Sian Jones: *holds, rocking*
(6:38:51 PM) Sian Jones: I'm sorry I can't be there for you now.
(6:39:03 PM) Sian Jones: Lee, I'm here for you whenever you need me. Okay?
(6:39:07 PM) Sian Jones: Just remember that.

(6:39:17 PM) Lee: thanks :')

(6:39:56 PM) Sian Jones: *ruffles hair*
(6:40:00 PM) Sian Jones: Love you, little brother. :)

(6:40:15 PM) Lee: :)
(6:41:09 PM) Lee: I love you too, big sister.
(6:51:28 PM) Lee: all Beth wants is for me to move on but I don’t want to.

(6:53:02 PM) Sian Jones: Move on, but don't stop loving.
(6:53:17 PM) Sian Jones: Carry on with your life, but with the hope that there will be a future.
(6:54:14 PM) Sian Jones: Cry for a while, and then carry on. But keep loving Beth and don't let anyone sway you, if you're sure.

(6:54:47 PM) Lee: but how do I move on?

(6:59:28 PM) Sian Jones: By continuing to love your life the way you were living it before, by maturing and not letting this scar you and make you bitter, by choosing to love her and wait for her, by becoming a man worthy of her.

(7:01:19 PM) Lee: I’ll try

(7:08:48 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs*
(7:08:54 PM) Sian Jones: I'm sorry I can't help you any more, Lee...
(7:09:06 PM) Sian Jones: I've been through the same kind of pain with an old ex-sergeant.
(7:09:10 PM) Sian Jones: I do, truly, understand.

(7:10:02 PM) Lee: ok thanks for all your help Siân :)

(7:11:44 PM) Sian Jones: I wish I could've been more, Lee.
(7:12:00 PM) Sian Jones: As a sister and friend - love you.
(7:12:02 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs*
(7:12:12 PM) Sian Jones: I pray your heart will heal with no scars.

(7:12:41 PM) Lee: thank you Siân :')

(7:13:09 PM) Sian Jones: *hugs tight* I'm always here for you. Don't you ever forget that.

(7:13:27 PM) Lee: I won’t

What I intend to give out by sharing this post is that it is possible to carry on maturely. I've been the immature way. Now I want to go God's way. And I want other people to go the same.

I wish I could point Lee to the Source of all Comfort, but he is not born again. Please join me in prayer for him and for Beth.

In Christ,
~Jane

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