A Little Girl of Eighteen/Actively Waiting

Yes, I'm eighteen. Yes, I'm nineteen in five short months, near enough four now.

I'm writing this blog post for myself, so if you don't like me writing for me, switch your screen down right now. *cheerful grin*

I love inventing my own fashions. No, I don't like walking around in skin tight leggings with boots that look as weird as did those old fashions when the toes were curled up to the knee. No, I don't like wearing thick makeup that completely obscures my face or having hair that hangs in my face. I strongly dislike tops that are extremely low cut and/or reach up to show the midriff.

I'm sitting here right now in a tight sky blue (with white polka-dots) vest top with spaghetti straps given me today as a late Christmas present by my Auntie, with a mint green blouse thrown over the top for modesty's sake. My hair is pulled back off my forehead with metal combs elasticated together with bright blue beads; an ankle length sapphire skirt to complete. But being me, I'm not complete until I've placed three vivid blue cocktail parasols upright in my hair. Believe me, I look quite a sight. :D

That's not the end of it. I'm actually sitting here cuddling a massive 12 inch stuffed puppy named Harry Hound that my uncle Robert bought me for Christmas. It's funny, during the kiddie years, you get soft toys and clothes. Early teens, you get smellies and fashionable clothes. Late teens, when you're definitely NOT normal and people don't know what to buy you, they resort to the cuddly toys again! :D I'm not complaining!

Harry will be coming with me to the States as he has his own passport attached to his ear. He snuggles right onto my lap, his paws fitting nicely around my sides and his nose under my chin, hugging my front with soft warmth. I can hardly put him down at the minute. He's making me feel really loved. :P :)


At a time of life when everyone my age is off to college every day, going down the nightclubs, partying and drinking til dawn, sleeping around with multiple guys and here and there have one or two kids, I'm at home all day, almost every day. My lifestyle consists of occasional church attendence, working twice a week to clean my sister's friend's house, helping out with my niece when needed, leeching money off my parents and spending a lot of time trying to help my friends on the computer. (And burdening others excessively. Bad me. :P)

Most people think I'm wasting my life, and sometimes I think so too. I confess, the past year I HAVE been pretty much wasting it - that's why I'm going to study sign language, take a permanent job and get involved with a choir or something.

You know what? I don't like the way my life's looking either. I was wasting it and didn't feel any compunction before. Now I'm actively wasting it. I'm not doing anything that I want to. I wanted a life of adventure and excitement, which was why I planned to join the Air Force, and right now I'm tamely sitting around doing normal stuff. But you know something? I don't think I'm going to spend the rest of my life doing this. Something inside is stirring, telling me that God might have me on preparing standby, but there's something more to come. That even though I don't deserve it, never have done and never will, that He will use me yet. No, I don't think I'm to spend the rest of my life actively waiting, but even if I do, and that's His will, then that is where I will learn to be content to be. Resting in His Will, even when it appears to be the most boring of existences, is the only place that you can find true contentment.

And don't forget. Living with God in your life is NEVER boring! :D