Soap for Jesus

One of the best songs about love is in the film "Fireproof". It's written by Warren Barfield. "Love is a shelter In a raging storm. Love is peace In the middle of a war. If we try to leave, May God send angels to guard the door. No, love - it's not a fight But it's something worth fighting for." To be honest, love feels like anything but a shelter. And right now, it feels like the raging battle. I guess the key word there is "feels". Those of you who follow me on Facebook will notice in the last few days I changed my relationship status back to single. (Because as we all know, nothing is official unless done on Facebook. *wry grin*) I kinda caused a fight with Mr. C (remember, from In Love With Two Guys?), except he never fights. We're like the proverbial cat and dog. I yowl and scratch and leap and claw and he's like your faithful old Labrador...he sits there and is calm and takes it. *another wry grin* It was a pret...

It is so hard to express what this week has meant to me, that I'm going to post up a blog post from a note on Facebook, written by my brother Miguel, and a link to another written by my twin sister, Kiehl. I know...cop-out. ;) Please, please read them. And for what is in my heart regarding OYAN? And when the Spirit of God is in so many of us in one heart, one mind and one goal...then let there be LIGHT. And there will be dynamite. #OYAN I had to laugh tonight when someone told me that OYAN's focus on "religion" was "a big flaw", and "undermined OYAN's value." Oh. My. Days. How can people be so blind...? How can they not see that we would never be so bonded if it weren't for the love of Christ? How can I express the frustration I feel as I remember that 1 hr 45 mins prayer meeting on the last night, and how God moved in and through and united and calmed us and gave us that vision for the future? From Heaven to Earth by Miguel Flor...

They say that there is a silver lining to every cloud. An added unique tint to every note of a song of pain. And sooner or later, in every darkness, the shadow reduces just enough to see a faint outline, or a glimmer. God. Is. Totally. Amazing. In case you didn't catch that before. GOD IS SO AMAZING!! This is a testimony blog post, so if you don't likey, you has permission to click the big red X. :D I'm typing this freshly awake from my lengthy sleep, which was induced by five hours of mowing and strimming the gardens yesterday (which look amazing, according to Mom! :D) moving heavy pots around and hauling three fence panels upright (while the neighbour man watched me. Nice guy.) It's kinda funny, cause the last time I cut the grass (Uncle Peter has done it since then, except no one did it in the winter months) was the night before I flew out to Kansas. I looked up at the planes flying over in the twilight and the stars beginning to twinkle, thinking, tomorr...

I want to heal. Not because I want to be pain-free. Because I expect to feel pain in the future. If I don't, I'll be worried. No, I want to heal so I can minister to others without being focused on and blinded by pain. I want to use that pain - to USE it. Not to be lost in it. God can use everything - and that is why He has safely brought and is bringing me through. I want to use it to reach out to others - to know the pain in their broken hearts and not to guess at it. To give, love and live the love of Christ and be a vessel to bring healing to them. If you don't have any pain in your Christian life; be worried. If there is no pain, no matter how small or large - if you're just gliding along on a peaceful smooth trail - start praying. For whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth. It doesn't have to be cyclonic. Just see if there's somewhere God is testing you or growing you. Even if it's trusting Him with school scores. ;) It's not because you haven...

Will the Darkness Win? I’m lying here in bed where I’ve been most of today – my only day completely free this week. I’m ill. Stuffy nose, banging headache, short sharp pains all over my body. I don’t think it’s just mere exhaustion. I haven’t eaten a proper meal (admittedly I was snacking earlier today :) ) or had more than one drink today and I don’t really want to. Some...recent family happenings and listening to my brother’s music playing downstairs means that every desire I have to get up is totally extinguished. There seems to be nothing around apart from the darkness. Some people would say a lot of this is my fault. And a lot of what’s going on and my pain and trouble over it is to do with my legalistic views on things. That I should be more open and charitable and forgiving. But every word that I hear, I hear confusion apparent. Although apparently consciences are clear. I don’t know. The night is dark. Literally and spiritually. There’s something inside which is telling me to g...

This blog post has been coming for four weeks. During the "message" yesterday, it exploded. Why do we need CCM in the church? It's cause it's the only time that people feel ALIVE! To get some kind of psyche to get feeling towards God, we have to use music to feel alive. Why? The CCM is rarely based on God. It's all based on us and on our feelings towards God. "How lovely is the Lord" is probably the most you get in the first line - then "how my heart longs for and EVEN faints for You." "I love You endlessly." (Like we do...?) How WE feel towards God. Why is there nothing like the wonder of the hymns of 'Love Divine', 'Amazing Grace'? No soul repentence, little adoration of God. It's all spiritual sensuality - because worshipping by feeling is the only way people feel alive. The reason people sleep around so much before marriage? Because in their boring lives, it makes them feel ALIVE. The music does the same ...

I blogged a while back on the idea of making over this blog, due to some changes in my lifestyle and myself. Due to comments from Zac Cannottell and Kiehl , and with great help from Jay , my blog is now done over. Thank you all so, so much, for your helpful suggestions and your aid! I've changed the fonts on my blog title and my tabs to more reflect my personality. My profile has been changed from being "wrapped up in military life" as I am not that way any more. On Jay's suggestion, I changed the title to Cadet for Christ ~ Running the Course, as my background and future is not and will not be completely cadet/Forces based again; however, I am still a cadet. My blog description has gone from being "A Christian Air Cadet's history" to "Products of my active and thoughtless brain scattered here for your entertainment and encouragement. I pray you find both laughter and blessings within!" As I rarely, if ever, use this blog to tell of my cadet en...

Today's words of praise while walking the dog! #61 Being trusted with keys to the house (today was the first time!! :D) #62 Having Sparkie. He is such a blessing! #63 The crisp bite to the air #64 The silence on the streets #65 The smell of a coal fire more than the usual choking exhaust fumes #66 The field at the end of my road #67 The road being 20 minutes long for a walk! #68 The field looking like a small section of country penned in by roads #69 My God-given charm with a lot of animals #70 God's grace granted to smile at people and the blessing of their smiling back!

I am cleaning out the chickens, bending over the chipboard floor, cleaning off the muck and disinfectant with a few scraps of kitchen towel. My MP3 plays out John Waller's "While I'm Waiting". Suddenly, I hear Dad calling my name and look up, removing one earplug from my ear. A horrendous racket hits my ear from some loudspeaker. Dad, grimly: It's Arabic. Me: It can't be!! It's Sunday, not Friday! I run to the fence and look over the next two gardens to the street, then turning my head to the right so I can catch a little more of it. I listen, intent. The Church of St. Peter's is chiming its bells. It is 10am. At first I think it could be someone driving around speaking the Gospel, since it is Sunday morning, and I cannot distinguish any words. Then I hear a slur on a sentence and I have no doubt. The accent is too clear. I turn to Dad: Why? Dad: Either because it's Sunday, or they could be calling out to their comrades because of what's going ...

One of the things I hate most in life is being short. A "midget", as my ex-cadet sergeant teased me once. Thinking about it, I think that any situation that I dislike, I will create a post about and blog ten things to be thankful for. Jay and Carissa, I will never be able to thank you enough for this...my outlook on life is brightening amazingly. The cure for almost every soul ill must be thankfulness. #51 Exercise for my neck. I look up at taller people and down at shorter ones. #52 Being taller than my Mom, my nephews and my niece. Ignoring their respective ages. :P #53 Easier to find a guy. *nodnod* Most of 'em are taller. :P #54 You learn to practice your sewing skills. To take up long clothes and let down shorter ones. #55 More things fit you. #56 You fit easier into someone's arms for a hug. Ignoring that I choke Mike when my shoulder goes into his Adam's apple when he bends down for a hug... :P #57 You blend easier into a crowd. #58 It's easier to reach...

This blog post marks my 101st post. I am grateful to God for allowing me to create this blog, for the friends that have helped me with it along the way, for my 21 followers and faithful encouragers and supporters, and for those others who do not follow me on here, but read it on Buzz and through Twitter. Today's thankful list. #41 Cars so we can cover distance more quickly. #42 God's Holy Word, a source of inspiration and encouragement to our lives #43 Breakfast #44 Pork pies! #45 My collection of old Dickens books that my brother bought me on holiday last year. I have a bagful. #46 For the many, many clothes I've been blessed with #47 Tissues! #48 That I'm alive today #49 All of my many books #50 10 hours of sleep :D

I woke up this morning. 1 - Early. 2 - With a blocked nose. 3 - With a raw throat and chest. 4 - I could barely talk. 5 - I had to climb out of my cosy bed into a pullover and jeans to clean out the chickens. I started to get ready and thought - I need to think of something to be thankful for in all this. Because all I want to do is list what I'm NOT grateful for! So I'm writing today's to ensure I stay thankful. :D 31# Modest blouses. 32# The song, "Just the Way You Are" 33# My twin brother snoring in the next room. It means he's home for another two days. 34# Kyle 35# £25 in notes on my desk 36# An MP3 hand-held speaker. I can sneak it up to bed. :D 37# Fake parasols that I wear in my hair 38# Mascara to hide my blonde lashes 39# Kiehl 40# Brandyce

I am sure I'm going crazy. Right now, my wild mood is on me. To replace the fact that I can't go anywhere, my fingers are typing as fast as possible to ease the tension. I wrote a poem, too, that I'm not going to publish, and thankfully that has eased it a little. It's that horribly wonderful time when I have an almost uncontrollable urge to fling open the door and run down the street and not stop until I find some howling wind or some dashing waves to slap against my face and make me stagger with cooling power or to spray my face and fill my ears with mighty roaring. I hate it at 9pm! I hate it in the middle of Walsall with nowhere to go! I hate feeling this way, shaking like this, and I can't go crazy! Why does life have to be such a pretense of formality!! I'm restless and wild and I can't stay still! I want to run anywhere instead of sitting here letting my fingers do the running for me! I'm shaking right now. I long to run somewhere, anywhere, nowhe...

I like the thing that my big brother, Jay Lauser , and big sister, Carissa Mann , do. So I'm going to do some of it. I started once via Buzz, but no one kicked me and I forgotted. Bad me. :D So. A list of things to be thankful for. (At least I think it was thankful...or was it grateful? Hmm. Is there a difference? :P) 1# The glimmer of sunshine coming through my bedroom window 2# Nice fleecy clothes in a cold winter 3# The beautiful ruby-and-diamond (probably fake :P) ring on my finger, that I used as a purity/engagement ring. (So people take me for engaged.) I symbolise the red with love, and the clear/silvery/white as purity. 4# Glasses because I am shortsighted 5# For God's grace in saving me - and restoring me - three times 6# For the healing of my broken heart, which I thought would never happen 7# For the power, passion and beauty of prayer 8# Prayer walks with my dog around the streets 9# My doggie. I prayed for nine years for him. 10# God's grace, strength and patie...

Beleaguered with requests for photos, and having made promises to one or two people to blog on her - ie, Nick Holley and Jay Lauser , here is my promise fulfilled. I started on her birthday - November 10th, 2010, at 8:15pm. :P I finish today, the 22cd, at 1:00pm Smiling a little, I leaned down, tucking the quilt around my mother and kissing her cheek goodnight. Even as I silently moved across the room to tug off the lightswitch, she was still talking; drowsy, mumbling her words, but still talking. I've not seen Mom so verbal in ages. Although she was lacking 36 hours sleep, as soon as she had eaten her day-old homemade, reheated soup and drunk a cup of steaming, fragrant coffee, she sat there for ten minutes describing in vivid detail the birth of her latest grandchild - her first granddaughter. More amazing for me, I was sitting there with an inane grin spread over my face, highly excited over the recital, instead of landing in a heap on the floor! (I am useless with blood and gut...

I've just got back from a week away and have a BUNCH of blogs to post, but first! Now, my deeeeeeeearhh ladies and gents! Here's something to get that hidden Celtic blood of yours that runs deeply inside your sluggish stream stirring rapidly to the surface, spurring into life and flinging you into wildness. ;) Enjoy!

Argh! I'm in a crazy, wild, random mood again. Maybe it's cause I've let my fiery long red hair loose and it's a little bit of a windy day. Just picking out some DVDs to take to my sis's, (I'm going over there for a week - minus intervals for cadets and college) and was going between nice, gentle things like Lady and the Tramp and The Aristocats...and saw Gunfight at OK Corral. I love Gunfight at OK Corral. I think that's part of my wild side. *grins* I mean, look at these three piccies. *is rambling happily* I seriously love confusing people. Walking out in one costume and watching people's reactions and how they judge me based on which character I appear in. Modest, home educated, young Christian girl. Obviously OTT in the clothes idea. (Not as radical as some, I admit. ;) ) Confident, slightly arrogant, mature, independent Forces girl (ok, ok, I LOATHE being taken for Army). It's just so funny. Stereo types do little more - when I'm in a good ...

Sitting in the car on the way to church yesterday, mulling over what was going on between my best friend and I, I was scrolling up and down through my MP3 player list. I listened to Judy Rogers' "Angel Face" - Angel face, you cannot serve two masters. Angel face, the world will leave you cold and alone! Angel face, you're headin' for disaster; Can't you hear your Father callin'? "Angel face, come back home." I unwillingly, yet with longing, played Michael Card's "I Have Decided" - There's a wealth of things that I professed Or said that I believed. But deep inside I never changed - I guess I've been deceived. And a voice inside kept telling me That I'd change by and by. But the Spirit made it clear to me - That kind of life's a lie! I have decided I'm gonna live like a believer, Turn my back on the deceiver, Gonna live what I believe. I have decided Being good is just a fable; I just can't cause I'm not a...

WARNING: If you are easily shocked, sensitive in emotions or generally innocent, it is advised that you may not wish to read the following, as it contains traces of adult content. Thank you. Today's lesson: Dress in a questionable item; get treated like a whore. This isn't too comfortable to write, but I think it may help prove the point about modesty...even if the subject is myself. It certainly proved it to me. As stated in the blog I wrote beneath a few weeks ago, I mostly wear mid-calf length skirts, possessing, however, four knee length skirts (I found two more) and several ankle length. One of my knee length skirts is very pretty. It's a crinkle skirt, black, kind of denimy at the top, with ruffles and flounces on its several panels - ending just below the knee. Apart from its length, it is fairly modest. I've worn it many times before without it having caused acute embarrassment. Yesterday, I decided to go for a walk around the block with my dog, on my own. Norma...

I was...and probably am going to attempt...a blog post called, Dismantling the Princess View today. Last night, I was...once again reminded of my very frail humanity and my great propensity to fall. I've asked God's forgiveness but am very uncertain as to whether I will be able to stop myself next time. In fact, I won't, but the question is whether I will lean on God's grace implicitly or ignore what I know I should do for the sensual pleasure of the moment. (And knowing what's coming up on Thursday, I'm terrified). It's kind'a strange...ever since God brought me back to Him, He's taken on one issue after another. I haven't even dealt with one and there's another staring in my face. Started off with idolatry...I have a major battle with not switching my computer on before spending time with God each day. Then Sunday events and the row with my dad constantly over them...I want to end up surrendering from a Christian point of view, not because ...