Fellowship
What exactly IS fellowship?
Last night I stood in church next to my dad, who was sadly saying that my sister was lacking fellowship. I turned away and walked over to the window, to think that I would like to blog that comment.
My sister is not deliberately not coming to church; she holds down two jobs to her husband's irregular one, is heavily pregnant, and has to deal with his verbal abuse when drunk, too. She still reads the Scriptures and listens to sermons, and there is still a marked change in her life.
My mother is also heavily depressed over the fact that she feels she has failed my twin brother at the minute. She is sick and tired of people and their condemning judgements and well-meant, bad-timed advice. She is not coming to church, but also still reads her Bible, seeks after God, prays...
My dad makes a marked effort to attend church on Sundays...to the point of condemning me if I do church parades with the Air Cadets or even if I don't go. The whole idea of going to church seems to be to go to church, to present oneself there to fulfill a duty, to spend ten-forty minutes afterwards holding conversations that can be anything from the price of eggs to pious reflections on the sermon...and that is called keeping the Lord's Day holy and having fellowship. Sometimes even with people you don't want to be in the same room with.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning church for the sake of condemning church. God commands that we spend time in worship of Him. And yet I think the attitude towards "having fellowship" needs to completely backtrack.
First, the attitude towards worshipping God needs to change. It's not a performance once a week on Sunday, or twice counting Wednesday, to pacify God, to perform a duty, to hoodwink God or to expect Him to give a nod and therefore turn a blind eye to all of our actions in the next week. It has to come from our heart, daily, as we come before Him in reading His Word and praying. Until we change the mindset that it's church, neighbourhood, world, family, personal back into personal, family, church, neighbourhood, world, we really won't be able to do a thing.
Secondly, our attitude towards the people we worship with needs to change. Sure, it's pretty hard if they're living two cities away and you aren't in the same neighbourhood. But! I was thinking about this the other day...there needs to be a chosen bonding with them. Going around telling everyone that we need this kind of sappy love one to another, being nice to their face and backbiting under the guise of "Christian concern" as soon as their backs are turned, isn't the right idea. Sorry, but that is generally what you see in churches today. I was in one for two years. And I'm sure most of you can sympathise.
We need to actually be full ourselves of the love of Christ, to be completely focused on Him and lost in Him and not even catching the slightest glimpse of ourselves in the mirror, to be able to perform the kind of action I'm talking about.
We need to focus on each one of those people, to try to see what God sees in them, and to love them for who they are in Christ. We need to choose to bond with them, choose to let our hearts go out to them, choose to develop that love for them.
This is something I have to choose myself. I get along with the dear elderly ladies at my church...Auntie Ruth, Auntie Elsa, Mrs Wilmot, Enid and Sheila (I hug them but I don't really know their other names, and I actually don't call them by any)...though getting along isn't really the term I want, I can't think of a better right now...I fit in with David and Christine, and their disabled daughter Sarah...as soon as I reached out to her after two years, which was a matter of putting self to death, Christine's chilliness to me vanished, which was a matter of thanksgiving. I tease Martyn Pearson - Mr. Pearson, and he teases me right back, sometimes even jokingly using me as an illustration from the pulpit, and his wife, Amanda is lovely. But there is one couple...never mind names...I get along with the husband, but his wife is wishy-washy and almost...fluffy. Although she is quite a nice person, something within me rebels at even attempting conversation. I know she doesn't mind talking to me, but there is absolutely nothing I can find in common to talk about...if I pass a comment on something, she'll smile and go, oh, yeah...and maybe the conversation will float onto some other line. If I come back with a flip-quip, she laughs and looks at me as though wondering where on earth I came from. I almost feel like I'm superior or on another planet, and I don't like that. I like to try and feel equal, to find something in common.
How am I to try and form a bond? I don't know. Maybe that's where prayer comes in. And effort, not just sitting back and praying.
Of course, there's also the people that come into our churches with dodgy doctrines. But that also isn't a cause to base personal dislike off, and is no excuse for our behaviour towards them.
So yeah. What IS fellowship? What does Christ say about this?
Last night I stood in church next to my dad, who was sadly saying that my sister was lacking fellowship. I turned away and walked over to the window, to think that I would like to blog that comment.
My sister is not deliberately not coming to church; she holds down two jobs to her husband's irregular one, is heavily pregnant, and has to deal with his verbal abuse when drunk, too. She still reads the Scriptures and listens to sermons, and there is still a marked change in her life.
My mother is also heavily depressed over the fact that she feels she has failed my twin brother at the minute. She is sick and tired of people and their condemning judgements and well-meant, bad-timed advice. She is not coming to church, but also still reads her Bible, seeks after God, prays...
My dad makes a marked effort to attend church on Sundays...to the point of condemning me if I do church parades with the Air Cadets or even if I don't go. The whole idea of going to church seems to be to go to church, to present oneself there to fulfill a duty, to spend ten-forty minutes afterwards holding conversations that can be anything from the price of eggs to pious reflections on the sermon...and that is called keeping the Lord's Day holy and having fellowship. Sometimes even with people you don't want to be in the same room with.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm not condemning church for the sake of condemning church. God commands that we spend time in worship of Him. And yet I think the attitude towards "having fellowship" needs to completely backtrack.
First, the attitude towards worshipping God needs to change. It's not a performance once a week on Sunday, or twice counting Wednesday, to pacify God, to perform a duty, to hoodwink God or to expect Him to give a nod and therefore turn a blind eye to all of our actions in the next week. It has to come from our heart, daily, as we come before Him in reading His Word and praying. Until we change the mindset that it's church, neighbourhood, world, family, personal back into personal, family, church, neighbourhood, world, we really won't be able to do a thing.
Secondly, our attitude towards the people we worship with needs to change. Sure, it's pretty hard if they're living two cities away and you aren't in the same neighbourhood. But! I was thinking about this the other day...there needs to be a chosen bonding with them. Going around telling everyone that we need this kind of sappy love one to another, being nice to their face and backbiting under the guise of "Christian concern" as soon as their backs are turned, isn't the right idea. Sorry, but that is generally what you see in churches today. I was in one for two years. And I'm sure most of you can sympathise.
We need to actually be full ourselves of the love of Christ, to be completely focused on Him and lost in Him and not even catching the slightest glimpse of ourselves in the mirror, to be able to perform the kind of action I'm talking about.
We need to focus on each one of those people, to try to see what God sees in them, and to love them for who they are in Christ. We need to choose to bond with them, choose to let our hearts go out to them, choose to develop that love for them.
This is something I have to choose myself. I get along with the dear elderly ladies at my church...Auntie Ruth, Auntie Elsa, Mrs Wilmot, Enid and Sheila (I hug them but I don't really know their other names, and I actually don't call them by any)...though getting along isn't really the term I want, I can't think of a better right now...I fit in with David and Christine, and their disabled daughter Sarah...as soon as I reached out to her after two years, which was a matter of putting self to death, Christine's chilliness to me vanished, which was a matter of thanksgiving. I tease Martyn Pearson - Mr. Pearson, and he teases me right back, sometimes even jokingly using me as an illustration from the pulpit, and his wife, Amanda is lovely. But there is one couple...never mind names...I get along with the husband, but his wife is wishy-washy and almost...fluffy. Although she is quite a nice person, something within me rebels at even attempting conversation. I know she doesn't mind talking to me, but there is absolutely nothing I can find in common to talk about...if I pass a comment on something, she'll smile and go, oh, yeah...and maybe the conversation will float onto some other line. If I come back with a flip-quip, she laughs and looks at me as though wondering where on earth I came from. I almost feel like I'm superior or on another planet, and I don't like that. I like to try and feel equal, to find something in common.
How am I to try and form a bond? I don't know. Maybe that's where prayer comes in. And effort, not just sitting back and praying.
Of course, there's also the people that come into our churches with dodgy doctrines. But that also isn't a cause to base personal dislike off, and is no excuse for our behaviour towards them.
So yeah. What IS fellowship? What does Christ say about this?
Well...this is why my family hasn't attended a "real" church in several years. I think there is good in them...but they sure aren't fitting the bill for what we're supposed to do. They're very much show and a once-a-week fulfillment, and they're people you don't REALLY know. Never mind we're all giving tithe to support a BUILDING instead of widows and orphans.
ReplyDeleteThe actual meaning of church doesn't have to do with a building. It has to do with people. We got to see THE church.
Home churches have their drawbacks too, though. Even in them you can get settled into a nice little comfort zone and have it only be a once-a-week thing. Though the one we have been going to for a few weeks have just started to do an accountability thing...I'm praying we go the right way.
That was kind of rambling, but I don't have a whole lot of time. :) There's some thoughts.
Wow this is a much needed topic that I wish people would address more Sian! My family and I havent attended a church for a long time now, we have fellowship in the home. The curch is made up of flesh and blood not bricks and mortar! No its ok to put up with people with dodgy doctrines as long as they dont try to start forcing them on other people. We used to go to a church and the guys there was starting to hand out Benny Hinn material to all the members of the church, thats where you cant put up with it i believe!
ReplyDeleteHome churches are okay but sometimes its hard to get alot of fellowship in them. It can feel lonely sometimes but theres no way ill ever go back to a church again where people judge you by appearance, talk about you behind your back and never leave you to do what you believe is right. Yes Ive been hurt alot by churches, because i dont go to one doesnt make me not a Christian. We are the church, some people go to a sunday meeting every sunday religiously, that doesnt make them born again! Its more about church on Sundays.
I dont believe you can fellowship with people whose doctrines actually change the gospel of Jesus dying on the cross etc, but small differences i believe we need to be able to get along together without back biting.