Beauty and Pain of the Cross

It's beautiful. The cross.

It's symbolic. It's pain and it's agony and it's separation from God and reunion with God. It's suffering and dying and it's healing and life.

Pain comes to all of us. Sometimes in the worst ways. Like when God asks us to sacrifice the nearest and dearest thing or person we love.
"God, I surrendered!"
"Then let go."
"But You might not bring them back!"
"I know. Trust Me."

Tears.
Pain.
Agony.
Surrender.
Peace.
Beauty.

Beautiful tears and joyful sobbing in the torment. Because He is God and He is the master of the paradox and He can make it so.


I looked up at my colleague Charlotte. Both of us had delayed lunch breaks, due to the length of the survey we were on, before lunch was called.

We were talking about my trip to the USA, and then ended up on our differing beliefs.
Oh! It started with my ink writing on my arm and wrist:
"Espérance - Hope",
"Love endures everything. 1 Cor 13" and
"Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him!"

She asked me if I believed in God, and then said that she used to attend church "but stopped it when I was a kid. I do believe in reincarnation though."

I'm not really aware of what had jolted me in our conversation, why I spoke of it, and without really understanding the strange attraction which God often gives me towards people, but in five minutes I had sketched in a few brief sentences my life over the past year.

She commented on it being good to hear other peoples' stories as it makes us grateful and stop complaining about ours. "But it's a shame it had to happen."

I laughed.

"It's true! It makes us grateful and giving to others. And while I wouldn't have chosen what's happened, I wouldn't swap it. God's able to use everything I've been through to reach out to other people."
And I knew the joy of the Lord in my soul and couldn't help but wonder if and pray that she could see it in my face as I smiled at her and simply said, "It's been good."


A few hours later, I held a sobbing, crumpled woman with a tender, beaten and broken heart in my arms.
She wasn't crying because she was hurting.
"I'm so sorry. So so sorry that you have to be going through this at 20."
That's love.

No one should have to. It's not a perfect world. And neither should she at 57.

But God is good.

And I smile as I look back at Charlotte, and realise that even this sharpest conflict between God and me right now will work through to His will. Even though it costs me the bitterest pain yet.

Because God is good.

And love hurts.
And that's good.
Because without pain, there couldn't be love. Or growth.

God loved.

That's the beauty of the cross. He died.
That's the peace of the Christian. Total surrender and death to self, hopes and dreams.

Sacrifice at Moriah and remember all He has done.

"Glorious Almighty God! You are faithful through the ages."

Trust and obey. And love still.

Because God is God. He IS. And He is Love.


~Siân Garner-Jones

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