The Oyster and the Sensitive Plant
A few more thoughts popped into my head before I shoot off to bed at what is rapidly approaching 3:00 am. Yes, I know...this is the latest I've been up in the last week and a half. :P
I have a habit of holding myself up to other people that I admire or are admired for the right reasons - consciously or subconsciously - and condemning myself for the lack therein of the good characteristics. A criticism, if given in a rough, blunt and ungentle manner, can be worse than a knife to me, and that comparison is not given lightly.
One of the habits I have, that has often caused me grief and pain, is my openness of emotion and free expression of thought, etc. It has been condemned, by me, by others, and I've learned to look on it as a bad thing, to be as open as I am with people.
I'm not meaning we should cry our every feeling out to the open public (ie, Mrs. Bennet); as little valued as it is, they'd be bored and we'd be hurt - not to mention the lack of privacy or of providing oneself with mental food.
I notice in my attempt at learning the human race, that those most valued and usually the most precious kind of jewel are those that hide themselves away, that keep themselves to themselves and rarely share thought or emotional expression.
That really messed me up - with the afore mentioned consideration that I condemn myself for lack of good characteristics.
Some brief thoughts just crossed my mind, though, and I want to post this for anyone out there feeling the same way.
There are two kinds of people (more than that, but for this classification. ;)) One is the Oyster person. The other is the Sensitive Plant person.*
The Oyster person is also known as the closed person. A shell around everything they think, feel and know, they only share select information with select few - those whom they trust. If you manage to get inside the shell of an oyster person, it's rare you don't find a beautiful pearl within. Oyster people are well worth getting to know.
The Sensitive Plant person could also be called the open person. Exposing themselves to the world, they're often trampled and rudely treated, but they still rise up again to face the world and bloom for those who need them.
I'm not going to provide a defense for the way I am. Because though I have many faults that need to be changed, some things are part of my character and shouldn't be changed. I know quite a few of you won't agree that being open is a good thing. And please, I'm not condemning or criticising those who aren't - I'm trying to encourage anyone out there who feels the same as me.
God made me the way I am, for a reason. There's a beauty of many facets to those of us who are "open" people, even as there's a pearl inside so many of the "closed" people. It surprised me to learn that people out there appreciate the openness at times. They feel they can come to us in hard times for love and care - and they know it's there for them. (Again, not saying this doesn't happen to the closed people. Just saying it's mutual.) It's an honesty that hurts - us the giver and those the receivers. It takes a beating by the critiquers of our characters.
Don't beat yourselves up over being different. Don't listen to those who criticise without a pinch of salt. It's not worth spending your lives trying to change something that someone might need - even if it's the minority. God loves you just the way you are. Open or closed. And in the end, that's all that matters.
*Note: The examples may not be of the best, but they seemed to demonstrate what I wanted.
I have a habit of holding myself up to other people that I admire or are admired for the right reasons - consciously or subconsciously - and condemning myself for the lack therein of the good characteristics. A criticism, if given in a rough, blunt and ungentle manner, can be worse than a knife to me, and that comparison is not given lightly.
One of the habits I have, that has often caused me grief and pain, is my openness of emotion and free expression of thought, etc. It has been condemned, by me, by others, and I've learned to look on it as a bad thing, to be as open as I am with people.
I'm not meaning we should cry our every feeling out to the open public (ie, Mrs. Bennet); as little valued as it is, they'd be bored and we'd be hurt - not to mention the lack of privacy or of providing oneself with mental food.
I notice in my attempt at learning the human race, that those most valued and usually the most precious kind of jewel are those that hide themselves away, that keep themselves to themselves and rarely share thought or emotional expression.
That really messed me up - with the afore mentioned consideration that I condemn myself for lack of good characteristics.
Some brief thoughts just crossed my mind, though, and I want to post this for anyone out there feeling the same way.
There are two kinds of people (more than that, but for this classification. ;)) One is the Oyster person. The other is the Sensitive Plant person.*
The Oyster person is also known as the closed person. A shell around everything they think, feel and know, they only share select information with select few - those whom they trust. If you manage to get inside the shell of an oyster person, it's rare you don't find a beautiful pearl within. Oyster people are well worth getting to know.
The Sensitive Plant person could also be called the open person. Exposing themselves to the world, they're often trampled and rudely treated, but they still rise up again to face the world and bloom for those who need them.
I'm not going to provide a defense for the way I am. Because though I have many faults that need to be changed, some things are part of my character and shouldn't be changed. I know quite a few of you won't agree that being open is a good thing. And please, I'm not condemning or criticising those who aren't - I'm trying to encourage anyone out there who feels the same as me.
God made me the way I am, for a reason. There's a beauty of many facets to those of us who are "open" people, even as there's a pearl inside so many of the "closed" people. It surprised me to learn that people out there appreciate the openness at times. They feel they can come to us in hard times for love and care - and they know it's there for them. (Again, not saying this doesn't happen to the closed people. Just saying it's mutual.) It's an honesty that hurts - us the giver and those the receivers. It takes a beating by the critiquers of our characters.
Don't beat yourselves up over being different. Don't listen to those who criticise without a pinch of salt. It's not worth spending your lives trying to change something that someone might need - even if it's the minority. God loves you just the way you are. Open or closed. And in the end, that's all that matters.
*Note: The examples may not be of the best, but they seemed to demonstrate what I wanted.
That was a great blog post Sian. I loved you comparison between the oysters and plants :) I think I tend to be more oyster-ish only opening up to people when I think I can trust them, though at times I think I hold things in that I shouldn't and then everything comes sorta gushing out... so maybe I'm a plant.
ReplyDeleteStill you're so write about not changing who we are for people. Like lately I've been sort of upset a I think I've betrayed myself in someways because I used to look on my shyness as a negative thing.... so I sorta started being more and more open. Anyways, you wouldn't be you if you changed how you talk with people :) *hugs*