Soap for Jesus

*chuckles* I'm lying here in a half numb, half blank, half calm (three halves, yes, I know :P) frame of mind. Kristin just asked me how I was, and I answered, I'm thinking God is weirdly good. Cause He is. My mom's in need of prayer, a lot of it, especially as the first court date with my father on the 15th nears. I'm lying here in emotional and physical pain. And apparently I "don't have any major stress in my life", a comment I'm currently finding hard to forgive. *smiles, thinking* I messed up again recently. I do that frequently. And I've been convinced God's going to punish me, as usual. If He has, He's done it in the sweetest way. I might have lost most of the things I love, but God's shown me His love, His people, and Mom and Mr C are the most important things in life. I might be in despair and lost in the darkness, but there's always someone out there who's more lost than me cause they haven't go...

As Time itself drew to a close in Earth's final days, the system of life seemed to have gone back several hundred years. Feuds, wars between kings and knights that fought on horseback...beheading as capital punishment had become ways of life once more. One could almost believe that old TV shows and films, like Doctor Who, were a reality, for there were upon the Earth many strange beings, the like of which had never been seen from the dawn of Time until now. There arose a great and powerful Dark Knight who rode through the land, calling all the people who dwelt there in apparently ordinary lives to arms. For a millennium, the world had lain quietly under the guidance of one King who reigned supreme in Jerusalem, capital of the much torn land of Israel. Yes...the problems of the world had centred around this one small city in one tiny country, as the book of ancient prophesy had foretold it to be a stumbling block. And once more, a King reigned in Jerusalem as had not been his l...

Hands cradling a tall, slim mug of hot chocolate, I leaned back in the red leathery chair and stared at the patterned white ceiling. Music from John Waller - "While I'm Waiting" played low in the background. I'm waiting, Lord. But peaceful? Oh yeah...painful. And not easy? Boy, that's an understatement. I hate my hurting heart. Still trying to figure out how pain like that can be so bad that it physically hurts. Raising my left hand, I stared, blank, at the wedding ring on the fourth finger. Using my knees to hold the mug, I twisted the ring, as usual, looking for the join, but it's never there. Why? Because it's a perfect circle. No beginning; no ending. It's endless. Love endures everything. I'm blinking back more tears as I'm writing this. Apparently it is possible to cry for two days. This is God's love for us. And this is how we should love one another. Love is patient . Love is kind. Love is not jealous . Love does...

Gosh, I sound so nerdy... XD Anyway. On Michael Card, the closeness of God and the unspeakable aching.

One of the best songs about love is in the film "Fireproof". It's written by Warren Barfield. "Love is a shelter In a raging storm. Love is peace In the middle of a war. If we try to leave, May God send angels to guard the door. No, love - it's not a fight But it's something worth fighting for." To be honest, love feels like anything but a shelter. And right now, it feels like the raging battle. I guess the key word there is "feels". Those of you who follow me on Facebook will notice in the last few days I changed my relationship status back to single. (Because as we all know, nothing is official unless done on Facebook. *wry grin*) I kinda caused a fight with Mr. C (remember, from In Love With Two Guys?), except he never fights. We're like the proverbial cat and dog. I yowl and scratch and leap and claw and he's like your faithful old Labrador...he sits there and is calm and takes it. *another wry grin* It was a pret...

Lying here in bed (don't shout at me! :P) thinking. And therefore blogging. Been having a few thinky days actually. Particularly in respect to one struggling friendship where I lean pretty heavily (and unfairly) on the other person. I've tried to back away before, to no avail. So I'm trying again. I don't know how it'll go. I'll be praying and trying to move on to a new path, which I think will be best for both of us. I honestly don't know what else to do. Which could mean an entirely different path for me than I'd dreamed. Recently, I've been posting a lot of stuff in relation to marriage - mostly caused by the swarms of friends who are suddenly deciding to get into serious relationships, get engaged, and a certain group of them, married. Plus I'm looking at ways of extra income and thinking of how to design my own wedding veils and dresses (please note Pinterest explanation ;) ). It strikes me that there's a certain depth of love...