Welcome to My Paradoxical World
I'm nineteen years old with a fairly unusual past. I have two names and two personalities (no, I'm not schizo).
I'm British (half Welsh, 3/8 English and 1/8 Irish with a dash of Scots), redheaded and passionately love my country to being willing to die for her.
I love America and Americans dearly to wanting emigrate there. America is "the Promised Land" in spite of its failures, as Britain is "the Land of Hope and Glory" to Americans.
I'm independent and very dependent. I'm silent and talkative. I love CCM rock and choral orchestral pieces. I'm crazy about the Royal Air Force, a member/cadet of the Air Training Corps and planning to join later as an officer, but I want to marry and have loads of kids. (As an ex-feminist to a degree, God's done really well on that one!!)
I adore military drill, both narrowly watching it done, learning it in depth and performing it with precision.
My soul overflows into music and song, both listening to, singing (operatic soprano style :P) and playing the organ and accordion (and slightly violin) by ear.
I want to go on Britain's Got Talent and sing, and I've also been invited to play the organ on the night at the little church we've started attending. Not because I play exceptionally well, but because my heart goes into it when I play and somehow it becomes beautiful. Still puzzled on that one.
I'm passionate about dance...always wanted to do it, but was told I wouldn't be good at it. The ball in Oregon freed me. I now dance random and different dances to various songs. And I want to learn to dance properly. (It's always been a dream to dance with the man I marry. And no, I'm not going to learn just to get a guy who likes dancing. :D)
I also love to write, although with my busy life that appears to have taken a backburner. Poetry and novels both, words when genuine are the most important things in the world to me. I love to create with words and pen - or keyboard.
I'm a Market Research Call Centre Telephone Interviewer, which is probably one of the least enjoyable jobs in the working world. :P God gave me a fire to serve Him, and I want to reach out and help girls that are emotionally damaged with troubled or traumatic pasts, and rescue kids from being aborted and adopt unwanted children and love them.
I'm Siân Garner-Jones. Had a lot of trouble accepting that. Jane Johnson was my pseudonym for both author purposes and internet protection for two years (online, offline 8), before I broke my silence on my real name. When I backslid, Jane became the good little side of me, the one I hid behind. The monster was Siân, who did all sorts of things good little Jane would know was wrong and hate. To my online friends, I persisted in trying to be called Jane. Of course, it didn't bother me offline, where I'd been known all my life as Siân.
My birth surname is Jones. I changed my name after staying with a family in America this year for a month, who took me in, accepted me, loved me and helped me unconditionally through some of my grieving process. With their permission and to try and show a little of how much they mean to me, I added their surname to my own.
More and more people come to call me Siân. The Garners said they would call me Siân to try and teach me to accept myself like that. That I didn't need a mask with them. That they'd love me just the way I was. Several other friends of mine do it for that reason too. (With the ensuing confusing result of half of one family I visited calling me Jane, and the other, Siân. :P)
I'm 19. Young, confusable, struggling, learning, growing, and leaning on the mighty Hand of God or I wouldn't be alive. Thank You, Father. <3
Yeah, that's me. Siân Garner-Jones. Welcome to my world.
I'm British (half Welsh, 3/8 English and 1/8 Irish with a dash of Scots), redheaded and passionately love my country to being willing to die for her.
I love America and Americans dearly to wanting emigrate there. America is "the Promised Land" in spite of its failures, as Britain is "the Land of Hope and Glory" to Americans.
I'm independent and very dependent. I'm silent and talkative. I love CCM rock and choral orchestral pieces. I'm crazy about the Royal Air Force, a member/cadet of the Air Training Corps and planning to join later as an officer, but I want to marry and have loads of kids. (As an ex-feminist to a degree, God's done really well on that one!!)
I adore military drill, both narrowly watching it done, learning it in depth and performing it with precision.
My soul overflows into music and song, both listening to, singing (operatic soprano style :P) and playing the organ and accordion (and slightly violin) by ear.
I want to go on Britain's Got Talent and sing, and I've also been invited to play the organ on the night at the little church we've started attending. Not because I play exceptionally well, but because my heart goes into it when I play and somehow it becomes beautiful. Still puzzled on that one.
I'm passionate about dance...always wanted to do it, but was told I wouldn't be good at it. The ball in Oregon freed me. I now dance random and different dances to various songs. And I want to learn to dance properly. (It's always been a dream to dance with the man I marry. And no, I'm not going to learn just to get a guy who likes dancing. :D)
I also love to write, although with my busy life that appears to have taken a backburner. Poetry and novels both, words when genuine are the most important things in the world to me. I love to create with words and pen - or keyboard.
I'm a Market Research Call Centre Telephone Interviewer, which is probably one of the least enjoyable jobs in the working world. :P God gave me a fire to serve Him, and I want to reach out and help girls that are emotionally damaged with troubled or traumatic pasts, and rescue kids from being aborted and adopt unwanted children and love them.
I'm Siân Garner-Jones. Had a lot of trouble accepting that. Jane Johnson was my pseudonym for both author purposes and internet protection for two years (online, offline 8), before I broke my silence on my real name. When I backslid, Jane became the good little side of me, the one I hid behind. The monster was Siân, who did all sorts of things good little Jane would know was wrong and hate. To my online friends, I persisted in trying to be called Jane. Of course, it didn't bother me offline, where I'd been known all my life as Siân.
My birth surname is Jones. I changed my name after staying with a family in America this year for a month, who took me in, accepted me, loved me and helped me unconditionally through some of my grieving process. With their permission and to try and show a little of how much they mean to me, I added their surname to my own.
More and more people come to call me Siân. The Garners said they would call me Siân to try and teach me to accept myself like that. That I didn't need a mask with them. That they'd love me just the way I was. Several other friends of mine do it for that reason too. (With the ensuing confusing result of half of one family I visited calling me Jane, and the other, Siân. :P)
I'm 19. Young, confusable, struggling, learning, growing, and leaning on the mighty Hand of God or I wouldn't be alive. Thank You, Father. <3
Yeah, that's me. Siân Garner-Jones. Welcome to my world.
Comments
Post a Comment
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)