Soap for Jesus

A leaf is a pretty small thing. It grows on a tree early in the year, sticky green with newness. It absorbs chlorophyll from the sunlight all year, providing shady dappled cover. In the autumn, some leaves have one blaze of glory before they turn brown, crinkle and drop to the ground. There they lie until they rot, grieved by some who, in the winter, miss their symbolism of summer sunshine and trampled carelessly by most who only curse their slipperiness. It leaves a mark on the tree, though - a leaf scar where it once quivered and danced. No other leaf can grow there. Leaves have the majority of their moments of glory when they're in unusual situations. When they're squished in a pile of heavy books to preserve their beauty...when they're bedecked with lacy ice in a sudden frost...when cast on the bonfire and suddenly the blaze of light is pouring out of the holes for seconds before it shimmmers into shreds and the light burns brighter...when dancing on the tangled threa...

Sometimes I keep getting glimpses of how great God is. Particularly when I imagine this great world as a ball spinning on the tip of His finger. Or when I imagine a single breath from Him and all of this being created. He could've THOUGHT it into existence. Instead, He chose to speak an entire sentence. I was just hunting down one of the proverbs for another blog post, something I read in Mom's Bible as I ate breakfast, and it struck me. The intimate complications of PROVERBS. One book we struggle to understand. One book inspired by God, from the complexity of a human mind. One human. How many of us are there? Look at the blades of grass on a misty morning. Hazes dimming the sharp dark outlines of the trees, creating a golden blur for a morning sky. Blades of grass everywhere, coated from top to bottom with jewels of sparkling water. Tiny little blobs. Beautiful. Simple. ALMOST EVERY BLADE. In ONE tiny street. In one tiny town. In one tiny county. In one tiny country. In one ti...

So I've had a lot of new experiences really, as God changes my life and turns it upside-down, inside-out. I've learned to babysit, day in and day out, moving from a six-month old to five and two year olds. For a girl who wants a goal of thirty children (God and husband willing :P), maybe that's not such a bad thing! I've learned to cope with mildly primitive living conditions, with raw emotions and trying to support other people simply by listening, to dealing with shifts and changes, to eating things I don't like, doing things I don't like. Well, this experience was a new one, and I call it my first in home education - the reproductive system. We'll skip a small part, for while the childish candour had my sister, friends and myself in hysterical laughter, it might not be suitable for younger ears. Jamie (5) holds up the doll that his mom uses to teach her classes. (Toni is a doula, and teaches other women.) Jamie: "This is my baby, Rosie. Why haven...

Last week I woke up early in the morning; tired, dragging myself around, I was not appreciative of being rushed out of bed to go and clean out the chickens. I stepped outside and looked around casually as I carried the cleaning items over to the chicken house...and gasped in happy surprise at what I saw. I noticed even more when I was scrubbing down the roost, so much so that I pinched my brother's camera because I wanted to show you. Spring crocuses: Purple and pale lilac: The forsythia blooms: Unfolding its flowers: Snowdrops: Whiter than snow: Crocuses on the other wall: An overview of the snowdrops: These are only a small selection of what I saw. There are daffodil plants just starting to glint with gold at the edge. Bluebell leaves are stirring in the dirt. Sticky new buds are appearing on nearly every tree. Life is starting again God is not finished with you. Spring returns, and so will life for you. Lift your head and look at your future, not your present. Who you are doesn...

Today I have: Got dressed Prayed Read my Bible: Matthew 26 - Mark 1 Today I intend to: Walk the dog Eat dinner Email ten people; nine from Hotmail, one from Gmail Do "Debugger" for Jay Blog two more posts Make ten bracelets/paint a plate Stop at 5 pm and polish my parade shoes and iron my uniform Go to cadets Come home and go online Manage about twenty chats and hopefully go on OYAN There are 10 goals to complete, and it is 11:45 am. I'm just getting makeup on and will be off to walk the dog. I also have to figure out tea somewhere in there. I will let you know how I fare! Please keep pushing me - I need some kind of schedule back in my life. Love in the Lord and In Christ, ~Jane

Warning: Not suitable for younger readers. Thursday morning during work, my brain was working overtime. I guess that comes with fervent praying and thinking, something which is not an unusual process with me, but one that I haven't subjected myself to for some time. Results of this being, 1) I was able to write an email with prayerful consideration, and 2) three blog posts I wanted to write. This is a minor one, but still an interesting note. As I was cleaning down the front of her fridge, I noticed that my employer had a certificate on it from her boyfriend/partner. "The World's Sexiest Female". A few of the words underneath were, "hot, sassy, sexy, flirty". The cute little picture in the corner was one of those little-girl stick figures, with an angelic smile, red horns in her head, a pointed tail and a trident. (No, it wasn't me. :) ) It struck me as I looked at it that that is entirely the world's idea of love. All guys want in a girl is the hott...

I am sure I'm going crazy. Right now, my wild mood is on me. To replace the fact that I can't go anywhere, my fingers are typing as fast as possible to ease the tension. I wrote a poem, too, that I'm not going to publish, and thankfully that has eased it a little. It's that horribly wonderful time when I have an almost uncontrollable urge to fling open the door and run down the street and not stop until I find some howling wind or some dashing waves to slap against my face and make me stagger with cooling power or to spray my face and fill my ears with mighty roaring. I hate it at 9pm! I hate it in the middle of Walsall with nowhere to go! I hate feeling this way, shaking like this, and I can't go crazy! Why does life have to be such a pretense of formality!! I'm restless and wild and I can't stay still! I want to run anywhere instead of sitting here letting my fingers do the running for me! I'm shaking right now. I long to run somewhere, anywhere, nowhe...

Thinking about whether to flick the central heating on...but my sister says it's already too warm. I'm freezing though, sitting here curled up on the posh mauve pink chair in my fluffy baby pink dressing gown over my schoolgirl pinafore. Ooh, aren't there some dressing gowns you adore! I guess I'm sitting here scribbling for lack of motivation to do anything. I mean, I need to doctor some photos, write a story, write a poem on snow, and write other blogs with more meaning. Just in a lazy mood and not doing it. :P My baby niece, Ayanna, is lying in front of me, asleep on her bouncing chair. I am balanced on the edge of the seat with one foot on the wire edging, ready to start rocking again if she stirs (which is occurring every few minutes!). My sister lies huddled up to my right on our sofa bed, asleep; exhausted by long feeds, very little sleep, stress and depression. On the final Friday of my two-week sojourn at my sister's to help her round the house and provide ...

Beleaguered with requests for photos, and having made promises to one or two people to blog on her - ie, Nick Holley and Jay Lauser , here is my promise fulfilled. I started on her birthday - November 10th, 2010, at 8:15pm. :P I finish today, the 22cd, at 1:00pm Smiling a little, I leaned down, tucking the quilt around my mother and kissing her cheek goodnight. Even as I silently moved across the room to tug off the lightswitch, she was still talking; drowsy, mumbling her words, but still talking. I've not seen Mom so verbal in ages. Although she was lacking 36 hours sleep, as soon as she had eaten her day-old homemade, reheated soup and drunk a cup of steaming, fragrant coffee, she sat there for ten minutes describing in vivid detail the birth of her latest grandchild - her first granddaughter. More amazing for me, I was sitting there with an inane grin spread over my face, highly excited over the recital, instead of landing in a heap on the floor! (I am useless with blood and gut...

Been thinking for a while - ie, several weeks - of creating a schedule. Just being as Teflon as Teflon Tony, I can't stick to one. :P 1 hour in the morning - Bible reading. 2 hours - making craft stuff to sell for Mom 3 hours afternoon - Internet 1 hour doing anything round the house to help Mom - dusting, vaccuuming, ironing. 1 hour - room tidying 2 hours - studying for English exam Then of course, from 8-9 onwards to 12, Internet, as that's when most of my friends are online. Of course, that's not taking into consideration our erratic family schedule, my college on Tuesdays, or Sat and Sun church/Squadron events. Or time needed to work on getting a job - or of coming up with ideas to raise money for the States. Argh! I've been advised to start singing carols in nursing homes...as they will pay for entertainment, and it's nearly Christmas. Last Christmas, I raised £30 odd for Africa, going around seven or eight homes carol singing on Christmas Eve. (I won't be ...

Hee. I'm going to spend one of those lovely random moments sitting here thinking out loud to a screen. You don't have to read if you don't like random. Logical people rarely like random, and I pick up a lot of logical people. Hang on...that doesn't make sense. If they're logical and don't like random, why do they like me? True, I'm not as random as I could be, and as other people are...did I REALLY say that...? Hm. Anyway. You really, really don't have to read this. Cause I'm just wondering about me and humans in general. Nothing inspiring. Nothing intellectually burning. I can see one or two people switching off and going to something worthwhile right now...and one or two others grimly setting their teeth and ploughing through my verbosity, simply cause it's me that's writing it. Another nonsensical thing. You're ploughing through the very stuff that makes me me. Come out of your head and enjoy mine a minute. :P Well. That was what one c...

Zooming along the road at the maximum speed limit, window wound down completely, she rested her crossed arms on the edge of the door to lean out as far as possible. Rock beating its vibrant pulse into her ears, she tilted her head back to let the exhilirating feel of the cold rushing wind push against her, flowing through her hair and fiercely beating against her face. All too soon, the journey ended and they arrived home. Stopping to peer at her disheveled appearance in the mirror, the girl hastily tried to pin wild, wayward, wispy curls into her severe bun, and regain the generally tidy arrangement of her hair and clothing before running to take the dog out for a walk. Her usually languid apathy had vanished into sparkling eyes, wind-flushed cheeks and a happy smile. The actions of an eight year old girl, correct? I mean, a girl in her teens, even early teens, has to have her makeup perfect, every hair in place, the jewellery in place, the correct accessories with the matching clothe...