Outrageous Marriage Views

So I was pretty stoked to write on an issue of waiting on God recently, which was going to be today's blog post. I'm not writing very much this year. :P Oh well, there has been a lot going on! Emotionally, if nothing else.

No, you don't get an update on that. Another upcoming post will be focused on marriage to someone with a past, and on a lot of budding relationships recently that have been cut short by either "caring" parents or by the participants themselves because of something to do with the person's past. That's still developing though. :P


Tonight an issue cropped up where a friend of mine asked me what I thought on him being married to his girlfriend with a witness before God and outside of a legal wedding. My response was that I'd have to think and pray about it. Still not done on the praying issue yet, but here's some of the thinking - thanks to the 15 voters who chose this post. ;)


In an ideal world, church and state would be united under serving God. This post is based on the supposition/postulation that the church and state are separated as in today's atheistic/pagan society, and addressed at Christian marriages.

If you don't really fancy the following thought track right now, I suggest you do keep it in mind for the upcoming persecution of the church in Western society. ;)


So now I need to figure out where, according to Scripture, I stand exactly on marriage. Going right down to the nitty-gritty, and removing the fanfare, the white dress, the tuxs, the people, the sermon, the church, the minister...what exactly does the Bible say on marriage?

The simplest form of marriage was found in Genesis - Isaac took Rebecca into his tent. :P

At several points in history, Christians have conducted secret marriages when it was banned by the law.

In relation to the command not to break the law, civil partnerships and living together is permitted now, so while it wouldn't be recognised as marriage in the eyes of the state, it's not breaking the law.

And where in the Bible does the law have control over marriage?

The Biblical principle of marriage has been stated in both Genesis and Matthew - "A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

So it's obviously the law of God and not the law of the land. A covenant vow between two people and before God - and to God. If we take our faith as strongly and unquestionably as we should, then that commitment should be binding for the rest of our lives.

My personal opinion is that the legal marriage was brought in because the strictures of it are far more binding and it is so much more difficult to get out of than simply breaking a vow and walking away. While the responsibility for keeping the marriage together is still within the hands of the couple, the greater part of the responsibility is devolved onto the state.

Taking that away would put far more responsibility onto the couple, hypothetically pushing them both closer to each other and to God - but that would have to be a one hundred percent commitment through rough times (and I mean times when you think you haven't got any love left) and good times (when you're in the most romantic mood on earth :P). Most people nowadays couldn't cope with that level of responsibility because marriage is just another step in life to them.

So now to question who has the authority to marry. That role is merely a witness to the covenant and someone who reminds them of the formal lines of the vow, as much as I can see. Someone in a position of authority in the church, ie., pastor, elder or deacon? Definitely preferred, considering the union is to be representative of Christ and His bride.


To answer a couple of arguments that a friend of mine raised in discussing this:
"That would mean that we could go and sleep together as soon as we decided to be "married", and we could just formalize it later. Right?"

No. There's no exchange of committed vows before God with a witness.


"Gay marriage issue is such an issue, because the legal standard doesn't have much reason to ban it."

It doesn't have any right to legalise it either, because legally putting it at the same place as a marriage is like recognising both as the same thing. And you cannot have two gay people committing themselves to each other before God, since He condemned it.
That would be of course recognising a church-state unity, and currently, such a thing does not exist.

NOTE: I am neither homophobic nor a gay-hater. I love gay people, and the two gay friends and one bisexual friend I have can all testify to that. That is my view based on Scripture. I will not condone gay marriage, and when asked my opinion express it, but I do NOT and never will hate gay people, nor force my opinion on them.

It's too much hard work imagining all the scenarios that could come off this, but I'm willing to consider any opinions/options expressed in the comment box. :P

Also, for the record, I prefer the white wedding thing (or cream wedding, for me :P). I love fanfare. I love the idea of dressing up, and sharing our joy with family and friends. I love the flowers and the one special day to remember, and the photographs. Kind of like I love military parades, uniforms, the music, etc.

But I still hold it's not necessary, except to be legalised. And that even that isn't necessary, but preferred.


It goes against the grain of everything you've been brought up to believe, doesn't it? As I've said, I'm still thinking this through. These are just several of my formative ideas.

But breaking down the lines and barriers of conservatism, legalism and tradition? That's where I come out at.


Comments welcome; discussions loved - no arguments or haters or people who just want to have a go at me, please. ;)