I Have Given You A Future

I'm hastily writing this before going downstairs to get on with some housework. No, I haven't forgotten the BGT blog post, you should get it tomorrow. ;)

Two places in the Bible do God's promises of a future stand out to me - the well known verse in Jeremiah, where He says,
"‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart,"
and a lesser known verse in Isaiah, where He tells us,
"Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. 'Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."

I'm heading out for an appointment with a psychologist this afternoon, due to pressure from family and friends. :P

I don't personally think it will do much good for now. In about a year or so, when some other things have stopped or at least distanced, then there will be more of a chance for something like turning to face it all will succeed.

However, as much as my current hurting has been jibed at by people who know me little to not at all, I do want to heal. I have expressed that so many times.

Although I've longed and cried and prayed to die, I know, as my friends Kyle, Brendan and Mama Lauser keep reminding me, that God has a reason for me being here. That every next breath I take is still a gift, whether unwelcome or not, from His Hand. I know that some of you, although very few now, still need me.

The process of getting hurt is easy. The running from it is intrinsically and pathetically painful and trapping. The fighting dealing with it is scarring. Turning to face your monsters is bravery.

I guess I just wanted to leave you with this today. Monsters of your past, of your physical memory or spiritual past, aren't anything to be scorned or laughed at. They're real. And sooner or later, you're gonna have to face them, unless you want to spend your life running.

But there's God Who will come alongside if you but ask, and give you strength and courage and fight your battle with you.

It takes courage to do that.

Courage to humble yourself before God and ask for help.

Courage to face your monsters.

And oh yes.

It takes courage to heal.

In Christ,
~Mademoiselle Siân