Soap for Jesus

I can see your heart is yearning. Everything is so unclear. Is the answer ever coming After all these years? So begins one of my favourite songs by the band 33 Miles. At the beginning of this year, I asked God for three things, which I believe He promised me. Two of them, I will tell you. One was that He would change me. The second, that He would bring my family back to Him and me. Yesterday God was very near. My heart was alive and full of joy as well as pain, for I could see two of those three coming closer. Today He seems close but distant in a sense - because I'm struggling to talk to Him. I lose words so often nowadays. I can force them out, but they seem so empty. And the pain and tears are back. And the confusion and the helplessness. Then we start the struggle. My struggle to trust and love and serve Him and let go, at the same time that I'm fighting for the controls. I went flying once and gliding twice. Each and every time we have a brief, to remind us of what to do, ...

That time we were all out going around that castle, and we both were trying to photograph each other sneakily, shoving the cameras into each other's faces, laughing. Driving along the road; when it was just us two, you used to let me wind down the window (cause I'd sit in the front of the car) and lean out of the window. I loved that, the breeze and the force taking my breath away. We used to listen to our favourite music that no one else liked - military bands and choral/orchestral pieces. We sang - Here Is Love, We'll Keep a Welcome in the Hillside. You taught me the Welsh National Anthem. You'd surprise me, with sausage rolls, creme eggs, my favourite chocolate bars. One of my favourite things to do with you was for us to come home and we'd have fish and chips and watch a film. When Mommy wasn't there it was a Western. We shared the same sense of humour. Laurel and Hardy, Monty Python. No one shares that with me now. You used to come outside quietly, just to ...

I keep thinking, there's a lot of people I miss, when I have time and stop and think about those that used to frequently traverse my life, and made such a difference...and are now no longer there. Just...faded out. Or left. I want to go after them...and I wonder. Is it worth it? Am I to make the moves and wait and see? They mean a lot to me and always will. Whether it be time, life, choice or me that's taken you away. I still love you, even though our walks have gone differently and may never cross again. :) And I'm pretty sure some of you still love me. Or is this it...the cauldron of life that will show those who stay through to the solid end. I could probably name on two hands (and that's very blessed) those who have never left. I'm not going to try for fear of leaving some very special person out. :) Even people that speak on occasion - like Dri. Sandy. Anjel. You know who you are - all you who stayed, all of you who made sacrifices and laid down your personal t...

And the pitch gets louder,, and longer, and higher And three different noises going on at once And incessant talking Cause of her loneliness But it's lonely when she doesn't talk And lonely when she does And one job equates so many And she goes deaf and doesn't respond And adds to the loneliness And the silence is great And so much to do And she starts to jump The incessant noise The aching griefs The unbearable silence The talking silence Then she jumps, uncontrolled And the tears pour without ceasing And the comments start to come And the gossip chain starts SHE NEEDS TO TALK! But she doesn't want to talk Not to just ANYONE. But they don't understand And try and barge in And she's screaming to go And someone to come And missing someone. And they say it's selfcentred And she knows it is, and curses herself for it The drums of the Master in the head of a mad woman. She only wanted sanity. Painkillers Drugs Alcohol Sex Self harm None work Just numb Want to he...

Once upon a time, there were two men. They were born together, lived together, ate together, worked together, slept together. They were Siamese twins, perfect reproductions of each other in every mannerism. Except two things were strange. They looked the same as one man. Each had exactly half of that one body that they shared. The one had been born years before the other, corrupted from what it was meant to be. The soul that they shared was rotten through, but there remained within a touch of the original design, a thread of what it was meant to running through its core. One day, the breath of the original Designer, the One Who made the whole man with the perfect soul before the Corruption fell upon it, stirred the dust and bit through the grit on that soul. He brought it to life, once again, and the original Soul, faced with the choice between the Old Familiar, that is and never should have been, and the New Unknown, which is ageless and timeless, chose the New Unknown and reached out...

Boys play house. Men build homes. Boys "shack up". Men get married. Boys make babies. Men raise children. A boy won't raise his own children. A man will raise someone else's. Boys invent excuses for failure. Men produce strategies for success. Boys look for someone to take care of them. Men look for someone to take care of. Boys seek popularity. Men demand respect and know how to give it. Boys go with the flow. Men stand out and make a difference - no matter how big or small. Boys want the benefits of adulthood and the freedoms of childhood. Men take on the responsibilities of both. I found this on a picture post on Facebook. And women? What are your thoughts on women vs girls? Can we make another post? :)

Raising Godly Children: The ABC's of Good Moms (PRINTABLE) : Download Color PDF

Just taking a small selection of Scriptures that have comforted and strengthened me recently and combining them together. "Why has my pain been perpetual and my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Therefore, thus says the LORD, “If you return, then I will restore you — before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless,you will become My spokesman. They for their part may turn to you, but as for you, you must not turn to them. "Then I will make you to this people a fortified wall of bronze; and though they fight against you, they will not prevail over you; for I am with you to save you and deliver you,” declares the LORD. "So I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked, and I will redeem you from the grasp of the violent.” Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, not one of the...

Sometimes I keep getting glimpses of how great God is. Particularly when I imagine this great world as a ball spinning on the tip of His finger. Or when I imagine a single breath from Him and all of this being created. He could've THOUGHT it into existence. Instead, He chose to speak an entire sentence. I was just hunting down one of the proverbs for another blog post, something I read in Mom's Bible as I ate breakfast, and it struck me. The intimate complications of PROVERBS. One book we struggle to understand. One book inspired by God, from the complexity of a human mind. One human. How many of us are there? Look at the blades of grass on a misty morning. Hazes dimming the sharp dark outlines of the trees, creating a golden blur for a morning sky. Blades of grass everywhere, coated from top to bottom with jewels of sparkling water. Tiny little blobs. Beautiful. Simple. ALMOST EVERY BLADE. In ONE tiny street. In one tiny town. In one tiny county. In one tiny country. In one ti...