How to Start a Guy-Girl Friendship

I figured a lot of you could probably do with a touch of lightheartedness (with a pinch of truth) to end this week, after the hurt caused by a whole stinkin' mess of conversative Christians.

So, here is the way to start a guy-girl friendship.

Joel Parisi adopted me as his new big sister, though we're kinda more contemporaries.

A little further on into the conversation (which is part serious, part fun):

Joel: You really should get back to him. Even if you... don't feel comfortable? Skyping, just keeping up a correspondence would (I think) mean a lot to both of you.

Me: *nods* Poke me until I do? Please?

Joel: Sure.

Me: Not.
Literally.

Joel: LOL yeah, I was totally going to fly over there and follow you around, poking you. :rofl:

Me: *facepalm* Joel. Srsly.

Joel: I's teasing!! Look, I'm not your usual oblivious guy.

Me: NO!
Really?!?!
I'm shocked.

Joel: If you say something that's a bit unclear, rest assured, I've usually got it.

Me: *faints* YAYYYYYY.

Joel: Oh hush, you. *laughs* Well, except where romance is concerned. But that won't be an issue, right? *stern glance*

Me: I can't talk about romance!?

Joel: . .. now look who's playing oblivious.

Me: We can call it the r-word. It's as bad as a swear word....

Joel: *sigh* that's not what I meant, silly. I have no troubles discussing it.

Me: Alright then. Talk. ;)

Joel: I have had issues in the past where I've become close friends with a girl and she's taken it as romantic interest.
When that was not the intent.
So I've learned to 'clear the air' before starting any such friendship.

Me: Joel, if I ever thought you had a romantic interest in me, it would be loudly and exquisitely crushed before it even had chance to breathe.

Joel: O.O Wow. Okay.

Me: Men can be...okay. Until it comes to romance. No offence.

Joel: *laughs* that was abrupt. LOL

Me: Well, you wanted it that way.

Joel: *can't stop laughing* *relieved*

Me: I would actually. Really. Really. Really. Like a friendship. With a guy. Where I can be open and honest and talk and be close without him freaking out or me thinking he's taking it as romantic interest.

Joel: So that works both ways then. :)I can tell you you're very pretty.
And you won't take it as me 'hitting on you'?

Me: No.
I won't.
Seriously.

Joel: Good. Then you're very pretty.

Me: The last time a guy told me I was beautiful, he broke me. So.
Your mission is to make me believe in a good man who can stay a friend and a close friend without freaking out about mush.
No mush allowed.
*sticks hand out*

Joel: *shakes heartily*

Me: ...
You're supposed to shake my hand.


....

And the conversation continues.

But seriously.
State what you don't want in a friendship like you would in a relationship. CLEARLY. LOUDLY. AND VERY FIRMLY.
State any issues you have or might have with the friendship. CLEARLY. LOUDLY. AND VERY FIRMLY.

And then, what the heck?
THAT's the way to reduce backlash and damage.
Frankness and honesty.

Not hiding behind codes and layers of Pharisaical law.

~Siân

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)

Popular posts from this blog

Outta 'Arm's Way

Image
It's painful. And it's sore. It's so sore I spend washtime dabbing water on portions of my skin because if I shower properly, I end up crying with pain. It's inherited genetically. I remember Daddy telling me his started when he was 19. It went all over his entire body - including his face. He had the wet kind - weeping, they call it - on his face. He had to go to work every day like that. And he said he felt disgusting, like a leper. Until he took aloe vera tablets, which reduced his eczema to some kind of controllable level. It started when I was a kid. Behind the backs of my knees and in the crooks of my arms. Then it faded until I only had it occasionally on the elbow of my right arm. Last year, it flared up again. REALLY bad. On my arms. Then I went to America. It was bad when I arrived. Came back a little in Oregon due to the dryness of the air. But otherwise, it was cleared. I forgot I had ever had eczema. Then I came home. And started work. ...
Read more

My Battle with Modesty

WARNING: I'm not sure about the appropriateness of this for guys...so if you think it's bad, stop reading. Okay? I read Jay Lauser’s excellent post on A New Kind of Modesty (which you really, really, really should read, though I won’t post it up seven times like my big sister C’rissie :P) yesterday, and thought I would like to blog my struggle and weakness in that area for...encouragement? General opinion? Not quite sure, although it certainly wasn’t out of self consideration. :P Then I read C’rissie’s post connected with Jay’s, A Rant on Modesty ;), which you can read here . And decided that I felt too embarrassed after reading that, because they were both so good and covered the ground enough, so I wouldn’t. Well, this morning, I changed my mind. (Although after rereading it again just, with all the comments, I feel quite small about posting this...*hits send before I rethink*) It’s not too often that I gain a victory over my worldliness to be happy in the clothes I’m weari...
Read more

Best Time of My Life ~ Now

You know those points in life where things just hit you? It came to me as I was washing up in the kitchen, snuggled in my fluffy grey dressing gown, the electric light off and the warm glow of the sunset fading in through the window, Michael Card's Celtic music playing in the background. I'm 21. And finally life seems to be coming, in a way. So many plans and hopes and dreams buzzing through my head, so much that is likely to and so easily can be smashed. "I'm fine on my own," I said aloud, laughed, looked up and sighed. These moments where I'm the only one in the house and can talk out loud on everything with God - cause He already knows it - and know the intimate closeness of Him in my spirit. "No, I'm not. But I'm okay with that. You're here, and You'll be with me until the time is right." Marriages are sprouting up all around me as my friends begin to pair off, and the middle-aged-21 crisis struck me. Not so much because...
Read more