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Showing posts from August, 2013

Why Do I Suffer? (Part 3)

So I've decided to take Terri (my laptop) to church with me every week to type down the sermon notes and then blog them, as they blessed a few people last week. It came as a somewhat amusing realisation as we drove out the car park that today's message was on the same line as last week's. Pray you're blessed! Job 2:9 - Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” Because Job is written as poetry rather than prose, people think it's a story rather than a fact, and that God wouldn't allow these things to happen to someone. However, he's mentioned in other places in the Bible, meaning that he was a real man and did go through trials. Job is the oldest book in the Bible. The priesthood isn't mentioned in Job and Job offered sacrifices, therefore it was probably before Moses. Job was the richest man in the East. He had everything that we would say God would bless someone with. God described Job as perfect,...

Why Do I Suffer? (Part 2)

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I had to chuckle after last night's rather speedy blog post about suffering in the Christian walk, when I attended a baby dedication today. More and more recently, I dislike attending church, but today was a feeding, refreshing and encouraging break. Which I wasn't expecting. After all, I'd only gone cause it was my sister Sarah's baby sister. And the sermon was on Hannah and her dedication of Samuel to the Lord - very fitting, as the baby girl's name was also Hannah! I took notes. *wrinkles nose at her ink dyed hands* The pen was leaky. :D Anyways. It tied in EXACTLY with what I posted yesterday. Oddness? Eh! God is good!!! 1 Samuel 1:1-5 "Now there was a certain man from Ramathaim-zophim from the hill country of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. He had two wives: the name of one was Hannah and the name of the other Peninnah; and Peninnah had children, but Hann...

Why Do I Suffer?

IT'S PAINFUL! Oh, God, it's so painful. Why should I suffer like this? What have I ever done to deserve it? I've tried to follow You. Tried to do what You say. I've gone through my memories and I can't think of any sin I haven't repented of. So why am I going through this? Those cries sound so familiar, echoed in the cries of those not born again..."If God was good, why do good people suffer?" And through the story of Job. Maybe you've cried them. I know I have, guiltily. And you know all the usual defending comments; that we are all sinners, that God grieves with us but that this is part of the curse. Yes, He could stop it. Do you know why He doesn't? Because when you're living the easy life, how often do you turn to Him? How often do you seek His face, to grow closer to Him and learn of Him? How much is the value of earthly things to you, when you are in pain? Because, to quote one tweet I read earlier: "The t...

When the Hole Aches

There are two things I have learned through this long and painful walk; that God does not fill all voids and God does not heal all wounds. I wonder why? I think He made us deliberately to have voids He doesn't fill. Which will of course be filled when we reach Heaven - the same as we cannot be sinless now, but will be when we reach Heaven... Voids to be surrendered to Him and for Him to give us peace over, but not necessarily to fill... Carissa: *thinks* I have felt that, too. I am not sure exactly how to put this, though.... one thing is that I think He does heal all our wounds--but that doesn't mean the scars are gone, or that it stops hurting, only that He brings redemption. It still hurts, and honestly I don't think it will stop completely till heaven. About the voids... I don't know. I think maybe it's more that we don't realize how sufficient He is... that He is there, and He is enough. Yet... there is still the longing for human friendships that He...

When You're In Love....

If you've been in love, and stuff happened. I think...I hope...we pray...this might help. Which is the only reason we're sharing. Because God allows things to happen for a reason. And a lot of the time, it's so what we've gone through can minister to others. Apparently love cannot break down all walls. But prayer does. 1 Corinthians 13. It breaks your heart. Live it. It brings you to the heart of love. God. You won't be shielded from the pain. Pain is born to expand your heart. To love ever deeper. And thus know His heart. Carissa: *hugs* I'm sorry, dear... I am praying. Keep close to God. Me: *hugs back* Thank you. I'm trying, but my physical health is starting to fail now. I...found...something...out..accidentally. It hurts... Praying... He's not talking to me and I don't know why. Trusting God and keeping refocusing...but it's very. Crushingish. Even though I'm at peace. If that makes sense. Carissa: *sighs* That i...

The Mud-Puddle Muddle

Never in my life have I felt so blind and helpless, and not in a very long time have I felt God's presence this close. It's been a while since I've blogged properly on Walk With Us. Because to truly blog means sharing my heart...and my heart hasn't been in a place to be shared for a while. Not that it is now, for what I have to share is delicate and sensitive on raw issues, both for me and for others, so I will have to try to pick my way lightly through the lines of this tale, and for this reason even now I am procrastinating as I try to write. One of the things that convinced me to share is a prayer I prayed on the way home, asking God to help me remember what I was to write, if He wanted it. My memory is a sieve on two legs, and I let the evening hit me. When I sat down to write alone, the thoughts are still here. Another is a quote from a very wise lady. "Our story is who we are, & if we deny it, we deny ourselves – and the very Author Who's writ...

Ebbing Low

I got off the bus, both ear pieces in, and began to quickly stride across town towards my second bus to work. A dark-skinned lady who got off the bus with me, paused next to me. "Don't you come from T-?" I stopped, puzzled. "Sorry?" "Don't you come on the bus from T-?" Me: "Oh! Yes...?" Strange Lady: "My husband and I used to live in T- area and we used to see you reading your Bible on the bus in the mornings and it really encouraged us. I just wanted to tell you, don't stop!" I blinked back tears and gave her a hug. It's the little things in your day to day living, that testify. My Bible reading had dropped again recently, schedule packed, sleeping on the bus because I was tired, etc. Her comment both encouraged and shamed me. It's funny...how much you fail to realise...even the tiny things can bless someone...just an effort to read a few verses, where and when you can, and chew them over and th...