Soap for Jesus

Zooming along the road at the maximum speed limit, window wound down completely, she rested her crossed arms on the edge of the door to lean out as far as possible. Rock beating its vibrant pulse into her ears, she tilted her head back to let the exhilirating feel of the cold rushing wind push against her, flowing through her hair and fiercely beating against her face. All too soon, the journey ended and they arrived home. Stopping to peer at her disheveled appearance in the mirror, the girl hastily tried to pin wild, wayward, wispy curls into her severe bun, and regain the generally tidy arrangement of her hair and clothing before running to take the dog out for a walk. Her usually languid apathy had vanished into sparkling eyes, wind-flushed cheeks and a happy smile. The actions of an eight year old girl, correct? I mean, a girl in her teens, even early teens, has to have her makeup perfect, every hair in place, the jewellery in place, the correct accessories with the matching clothe...

I am shattered.

Do not expect a post from me for a long while. I have taken a massive step backwards. And for now, I am too defiant to care. Do not attempt to pry below the surface or you will get a backlash you do not anticipate. Glad what I wrote yesterday was of some encouragement to you. Please continue to follow the good ways in the Only Way. God bless. Janie.

I have just put down a book by author and pastor Robert Lewis, called Raising a Modern-Day Knight after an hour's perusal. Or flicking through and reading the bits that caught my eye. It's all about talking to fathers and trying to guide them on how to relate to their sons. Showing them how much their sons need them to look up to; how much they need to be there and give love and support and affirmation and identity to their sons. At least, that is what I took from it. Why did I pick it up? Because. I was in one of my own usual moods; I was sitting next to my own dad and listening to some remarks between my parents - and I leaned back in my chair at the table and cast my eyes up at the bookcase next to me. This caught my eye, and I reached up and pulled it down, smiling satirically. Now, this should be interesting to see. What Biblical men really should be like, huh? HAHAHA. Because, as I've mentioned before, I have a pathetic amount of distrust, dislike and disrespect for ...

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I have never connected my two blogs before, deliberately. Why I am doing so now, I question myself and cannot answer. My latest poem, on my blog Poema , is something I have never tried before. An unrhyming, unrhythmed poem. And underneath that link? A song by Relient K.

Suddenly, the realisation struck me that to gain a kind of peace of heart, I have made a compromise, and not a complete surrender to God of my life. When I made the apology to Jay and Kyle over attacking marriage (because I have done so, using arguments I knew were wrong to forge a defensive/aggressive position, as I felt threatened), I said I was sorry for doing it because I'd realised that my strength for singleness must come from a reliance on God, not by attacking the opposing view. And I definitely felt happier after apologising for it. The compromise is that I seem to have come to a point of "making deals" with God. Of all things. "I'll apologise and stand up for the majority of marriage, if You leave me alone and help me be single and carry on my life the way that I'm comfortable with it going," sort of thing. That doesn't mean I don't feel I have a call on my life to enter the Royal Air Force and to serve God and serve my country in...