Posts

Showing posts from May, 2017

The Guilt I Carry

Image
I had a breakdown this week, probably due to exhaustion. It wasn't pretty. Atul and I are working really hard right now to try and get our house within the time limits imposed by lenders and visas and money. Love that last. It's a pain in the neck. I walked from work on Tuesday evening to get a hug from my husband at his workplace (he was on night shift). As soon as he put his arms around me, I started crying - and didn't stop for an hour. Then on and off for the next day. Took a half sick day off work. Ugh. Since my marriage, I haven't seen much of my friends. And even less and less, I've been drifting offline. Well, apart from playing Farmville or watching Netflix. Part of me is guilty for abandoning people. Part of me thinks I can't handle staying with people. Why? I had a dear friend once. Someone I adopted as a daughter. And a mutual friend betrayed her and me. When I had helped her get out of the mess, I drifted away because I was cracking and ...