Soap for Jesus

You hear it all the time. Don't look for a man, look for God. God can fulfill all your deepest needs and meet every desire. The best man you can marry is a man that's looking for God more than you. And you believe it. You innocently set off to try and follow God to the best of your ability, to pursue and look for and love and serve God. You want a good marriage. You hope and pray God brings you a good man. You watch other people start out - couples of faith with faith in God that falter...and fall...because a unique trial tests them at their weakest point, their most vulnerable point...and. they. fall. They stop. Give up. Parents intervene. Oh, he wasn't for you. She wasn't Godly enough. Look at this flaw, look at that flaw, your friends say. Generational curses! Developmental faults! Oh my gosh, why get married at all!? The fact that some people even are is a miracle. Look at what you believe and look at the human race. Seven thousand years or so ago, God...

Hobbling along a couple of steps, I grimaced as a sharp, small stone cut into my bare foot. Forget it. Think I'll stick to the high heels and ignore the blisters. Pulling them back on over my hot and somewhat swollen feet, I stalked stylishly off up the hill...the sun pelting down...it's funny how much of your thought process can shut down when you're drained and focused on one thing...just getting home. Well, that's what I am now...a fashion girl. Trying to hold down a job and stick to an everyday life. What became of the passion and the excitement of life when I was a teen? The promise of doing great things for God? I knew great things were often small things, but it shrunk down to humdrum. One step in front of another. Dragging feet. Harder to get beyond the concentration of just keeping breathing...another step. Battling memories of him and our six years of friendship gone and my four years of loving him and the plans I dreamed and the things I believed th...